CuminBot

Short Description:

You came, you didn’t ‘cummed’, okay?

Full Description

CuminBot is a really stupid and futile attempt to correct a modern
misspelling so widespread as to be in danger of becoming orthodox. And
this guy despises orthodoxy, so...

By way of (indirect) explanation, waaay back in 1993 a devotee of
Bach's celebrated B minor mass was cautioned by his** ISP against
using language "inappropriate to the Prodigy service." Three decades
later, this lonely script-jockey hopes Bach fans in rooms running
CuminBot will be only momentarily perplexed by curious references to
the non-existent movement "Come Sancto Spiritu."

[[ **I checked the sex of the user with the great Peter van der Linden
of "butt-ugly fish book" fame - to whom I owe this too-short anecdote.
]]

Latin ain't my thing, but because no other English word begins with
the first four letters of 'cummerbund' (it's a garment, folks) the
initial spec for this bot was:-

On startup, call cb.onMessage() setting a handler that:
--For all message words beginning with C followed by U followed by at least one M:
----If there is more than one M, leave 'cummerbund' alone and otherwise replace the U and all the Ms with O and a single M
----If there is exactly one M, leave entries in the CuminList alone but otherwise similarly flip the U to an O, and append an E if that M is also the last letter.

The latest spec doesn't actually exist except in my head, but it's
close to the above. Where it's different, it is what the code does -
except when the code does something I don't want. When that happens,
the spec is what I think the code ought to do instead. More or less.

The CuminList is named after the shortest word in it (it's a spice,
folks). Yes, I know you knew that. The current CuminList is: cumber,
cumbersome, cumbersomely, cumbersomeness, cumbrous, cumbrously,
cumbrousness, cumin, cumquat, cumshaw, cumulate, cumulated, cumulates,
cumulating, cumulative, cumulatively, cumuliform, cumulonimbus,
cumulous, cumulus.

Note that a variant spelling of cumin, viz 'cummin', IS replaced (by
'comin'). This problematic case is beyond my power to adjudicate;
introduction of a toggle-switch for it is scheduled for version two.
But don't hold your breath. Similarly, certain other awkward, mostly
past-tense cases will be better-handled, based on what little
user-feedback I expect to receive. And 'cumshaw'** is up for review,
too. With love, -Mark (aka 'IfILikeILick'; feedback/thanks/jokes/etc
to please or (bigger please), tip me happy).

[[ **a loan word from Hokkien Chinese, apparently, and of which
'comshaw' is a variant spelling anyhow. ]]