● Learn to cook something more complex than mac and cheese... even just rice that doesn't turn into a block of concrete.● Get a full night's sleep—just once—without waking up in a panic thinking, "Where am I and what deadline is this?"● Pass my exams without a nervous breakdown, ritual sacrifices, or making deals with higher powers.● Learn to save money... at least until Friday. Okay, until Wednesday. At least stop ordering sushi with my last few bucks.● Accidentally become famous—you know, just sitting there eating chips when—BAM—millions of followers.● Always find an empty seat on the minibus, with no old guy sneezing next to me, and a driver who listens to silence instead of *chanson* music.● Go on a date where they don't ask, "So, do you share your food or what?" and don't start talking about their exes after just two sips of coffee.